Unwrapping Self-Love: My Journey with Mental Health on Valentine's Day
Updated: Apr 28, 2025
Valentine's Day can evoke a mix of emotions. Everything from excitement over planned romantic gestures to feelings of loneliness and heartache. For those navigating mental health issues like C-PTSD and bipolar II disorder, this day can be especially overwhelming or challenging. I've often approached Valentine’s Day with a unique perspective shaped by my experiences. Because it is my eldest daughter's birthday, that often takes precedence over the fact that it's Valentine's Day.
This year, I've decided to divide my attention and not only concentrate on my relationships with some of the most important people in my life, but I’ve also chosen to embrace self-love by writing a heartfelt letter to myself. The idea was born from a writing contest on Facebook.
Of course, my ADHD kicked in while I was reading the contest rules, and misread that the love letter was supposed to be about something rather than someone. Never have I been more happy over an error on my part. So the idea of writing myself a love letter was conceived. This practice has been transformative for me and can be for others as well, especially for those facing mental health challenges.
The Reality of Valentine’s Day and Mental Health
Valentine's Day typically emphasizes romantic love. However, for individuals living with mental health challenges, it can amplify feelings of anxiety and depression. For instance, studies show that approximately 40% of people report feeling increased anxiety on this day due to social expectations.
Mental health is constant; it can't be paused, and daily pressures only serve to intensify the challenge. I've been working on accepting whatever the day brings, concentrating on my loved ones, and fostering self-love. The latter is somewhat more challenging than the first two. This Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to embrace the gift of self-love, starting with writing a letter to yourself.
Why Write a Love Letter to Yourself?
The idea of writing a love letter to oneself may seem sentimental, but it is a profound method to build self-acceptance and enhance mental well-being. Here’s why it matters:
Self-Reflection: When I write, I take time to reflect on my emotions and journey thus far. This involves acknowledging both the wins and setbacks. According to a survey by Psychology Today, 73% of individuals find that journaling promotes mental well-being by allowing for authentic expression.
Affirmation: My letter serves as a reminder of my strengths and all the things I have already overcome to get where I am today. It is my reminder that I am in fact a badass who deserves all the good things that life has to offer me.
Emotional Release: Writing allows me to process my emotions. On Valentine’s Day, when pressure to feel happy is high, giving myself a space to express my feelings can be deeply healing.
Write yourself a love letter.
Crafting the Love Letter
Crafting a love letter to yourself can seem like a daunting task. I know for me it certainly was but it was also a very healing exercise. I wrote it from the perspective of someone who has already healed. From the place I hope to be someday.
Dear Younger Self,
I am writing you this letter first and foremost to tell you, without a doubt, you will be okay. You are stronger than any single person I’ve ever known and so much more than you give yourself credit for. You will struggle to love yourself for the majority of your life so I can only hope that this letter serves as a reminder and will see you through until you learn to love all of you, not just certain parts.
Because of my love for you, I also feel it’s important to warn you. Life is not going to be kind to you. In fact, your young life will be brutal. You will have to endure things no child should ever have to experience by the people you should be able to trust above all else. I don’t tell you this to frighten you but to help prepare you. You were barely ten years old when the abuse began. Much too young for a child to process everything that was happening to them, let alone how to make it stop.
There will be days you pray for death, to die in your sleep. Those days will turn into months and the months will become years. Our God did not answer that prayer and I am thankful every day for that. He had a bigger purpose for you than you had for yourself. So even though your prayer was never answered, you still continued on.
“Even the Darkest Night Will End and The Sun Will Rise.” This will become your motto, your mantra. It will serve as your reminder. Faith in God and faith that every day is a new chance to begin again, to start over, and to be better than the day before will be your saving grace. It will get you through the worst of times.
Which leads me to this. You. You are by far my favorite red-headed warrior. Better than any heroine from any book I’ve ever read, and I’ve read a lot of books. I love the woman you will become. She is worth knowing. She is worth fighting for. She is worth loving. Be kind to her. Treat her (you) as well as you have always treated others.
My hope for you is that you know your worth, believe in yourself as much as I do, and give yourself grace. Grace to be human, grace to make mistakes, and finally, grace to forgive yourself. You did nothing wrong. You were a child and as such, it was someone else’s job to protect you. It was your parent's job to be better human beings than they were. Yet you still forgave them for them for what they did to you. It’s time to forgive yourself for believing you could have prevented it or done anything differently than you did. You survived and one day you will shine. Your life’s story will become someone else’s survival guide.
Above all else, remember to love yourself, you are pretty freaking awesome.
Love Always and forever,
The Much Older and Wiser Version of You.
“I love the woman you will become. She is worth knowing. She is worth fighting for. She is worth loving. Be kind to her.”
Tips for Embracing Self-Love
In addition to writing your letter, consider these practices to foster self-love this Valentine’s Day:
1. Engage in Mindfulness
Take a moment to focus on your breathing or engage in mindfulness. This practice can help create a sense of calm amidst the day’s chaos.
2. Treat Yourself
Indulge in something you love, whether that’s your favorite meal, a relaxing bath, or a favorite hobby. Treating yourself well can make a significant difference in your mood.
3. Connect with Others
Although Valentine's Day often centers on romantic love, remember your friends who may also feel isolated. Reach out and share thoughts or even read your love letter together; it can foster a sense of connection.
The Path to Self-Love
This Valentine’s Day, as I unwrap the layers of self-compassion and understanding, I hope to inspire others to do the same. Writing a love letter to myself has been a meaningful step in prioritizing my mental health. It serves as a reminder that love starts within us.
Self-love is an ongoing journey, especially for those managing conditions like C-PTSD, bipolar II disorder, and ADHD. Each letter reinforces the belief that we are deserving of love.
If you’re facing difficulty this Valentine’s Day, remember: you are not alone. Embracing self-love is a beautiful way to honor your mental health journey. Write that letter and celebrate YOU.
Let’s make the most of this day by prioritizing our hearts, minds, and overall well-being. Happy Valentine’s Day!
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