Who Doesn’t Love Live Sports?

Just a few years ago, I went to my first hockey game. I had won the tickets through work and although my younger brother had been a fan for years, I had never gone to a game myself before then. I must say, who doesn't love a live sports event? Especially if that sport is 'your jam' as my daughter would say.

Mine just happens to be hockey. Of all the sports I've watched on television or in person, hockey has long been my favorite. The players are in a constant state of movement, there is so much action on the ice and it's indoors in a cool, climate-controlled location (damn hot flashes). But seriously, what other sport can the players get into a fistfight, go into a time-out, and then jump right back into the game!?!

Unfortunately, when you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), it can be a wholly different experience. There is an extremely high level of 'stress' involved, at least for me, when attending a game. There are several reasons for this. The first is the noise; oh my goodness the noise level. Next is the massive amount of people attending the game. Sure, when you're in your seats it isn't bad, but try venturing out during intermission. It's similar to a human version of Frogger and you're desperately trying NOT to get run over. Lastly, is the sheer overstimulation from the environment itself. So much going on from all angles. Never mind being trapped in an elevator with a dozen other people. If I'm not in the front by the doors with my head down, I'm waiting for the next one courtesy of my 'agoraphobia with panic disorder'. Ugh!

Individuals with PTSD often have severe sensitivity to noise. The picture above describes it well. There is something about certain pitches or the sheer loudness that can immediately make a person with PTSD shut down. As I type this, I'm sitting at the game, and the thumping of the building from the noise level has me feeling anxious. I can feel the tightness in my chest already and the game hasn't even started. The noise level in some cases, and I've experienced this many times, causes me to be on high alert with an extraordinarily short startle reflex. One loud noise and movement out of the corner of my eye and I'm squeaking or whimpering like an idiot. Or at least I feel like one. I know, be kind to myself.

How do I combat these things when I'm at a game? After all, we love hockey so much we have season tickets so not going to the games is not an option. As season ticket holders, we can enter about an hour before the general admission crowd. Thankfully this gives me time to get food or drink before the masses of attendees get inside. Next, I take whatever time I need in order to feel safe. If I have to wait for the elevator three times so that it's not overcrowded or I'll be stuck in the back, I wait. I duck out for intermission several minutes before it actually starts to give me time to get where I need to go. While I'm watching the game, I bring noise-canceling headphones and wear them with my country music playing to give me something to focus on other than the loud noises from the crowds or arena speakers themselves. If at any time it becomes too much, I'll head inside from the ice and find a nice comfy chair by a TV tucked out of the way to watch the game while I calm my anxiety down.

I don't want to have to give up the things I love doing. I don't want mental health issues to get the best of me. Some days, many days, they do, but it's about working towards balance and finding ways to still do the things you love. Take all the time you need to explore what works for you so that you don't have to give up the things you're passionate about. Having those moments of fun can make all the difference between an overwhelmingly bad day, week, or year when you're living with PTSD.